Jun. 8, 2023
Read time: 2 minutes and 46 seconds.
tags:Family relationships are rarely perfect, despite what social media might portray for some. We often think the grass is greener with other families. However, every family has its quirks and challenges, and you’re not alone in this. And if it is greener on the other side, lest we forget that it’s probably because it was covered in 💩.
There’s rarely a perfect familial situation and this is something that most of us have lived. Whether it’s overbearing parents or unappreciative ones at that. If a family seems “perfect,” it’s likely due to concerted effort and overcoming challenges together, kind of like a sports team. Loving your family doesn’t mean it’s always awesome or easy. Sometimes it takes a lot of sacrifice on our own behalf to be able to see what really matters. Like losing an argument for the sake of peace.
What can be said however, is the importance of gratitude and acceptance. When family has an expectation set on how you should be, how you should act, or live, this can become frustrating. But it usually comes from a well intended place and they simply want you to be okay. I’ve had this experience first hand with my family about their wants and expectations for how I should make choices in my career…. despite it being MY career. However, i’ve learned that it’s probably better for them to air their grievances and make the comments that they wish instead of fighting the current. Being able to accept their feedback and comments is a big part of growth and critical for maturity.
It’s a two-way street; family members might not accept our imperfections either. And we might not accept theirs. But living in a constant battle about acceptance and disapproval is a difficult way for one to live, especially when you’re an adult.
We can still grow and evolve by focusing on our own resilience. Resilience is acquired through experience and conscious effort, like making a good buying decision or choosing to evolve. it’s a matter of how you handle difficulty and how you respond to trials. Depending on how you accept outcomes in your own life will really drive how you accept outcomes in your family dynamics.
Some family members may have limited perspectives due to their life experiences. Especially when there are generational gaps, it’s important for us to understand how our differences can shape our attitude and risk tolerance. I might be more tolerant to risk than my parents for certain things regarding the internet economy more than maybe my risk tolerance for handling a poor quality contractor.
Generalizing here, but many service workers or those who worked hard from a young age might not fully grasp concepts like mental health. It’s something that has come up a ton in my life, but it’s something that probably seemed like a cop out for real problems like having enough food on the table or dealing with an abusive parent.
What’s important to remember is that family is really what you make of it. You can choose to engage in conflicts or strive for understanding.
Maybe you have a complicated family dynamic that might be difficult for me to understand. Family relationships are complex, but they’re also valuable. By practicing gratitude, acceptance, and resilience, you can navigate the challenges and build stronger connections. Even if they’re with family members who don’t see it the same way. It’s sometimes more important about what matters to you more than what matters to them.